Most people think the hard part will be working out or eating better. In reality, the hardest part is when both you and your friends begin to see you differently. Positive lifestyle change doesn’t happen as a result of sustained effort, it happens when you embrace a new identity.
As we get older, we start to build an identity. For the most part that doesn’t change once we get into the workforce and our career becomes what most people casually know about us. Some of us, however, go through phases. Myself included. I’ve been known as the CrossFit guy for about fifteen years now, but I wasn’t always that person. For a long time, health wasn’t something I prioritized. Not because I was against it. It just wasn’t part of how I saw myself. I had no background in it, no track record of discipline, and definitely no identity tied to it. I wasn't miserable, but I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was.
I didn’t set out to change my identity, only to somehow find a better way to lead a healthier lifestyle. When I set out to do this, it would have been laughable to think I would somehow end up as the fitness junkie who never misses a workout.
As I found myself in this unfamiliar place. Not only was I spending more time with a different group of people, but I also had a newfound passion that began to take hold. This was so out of character that I even felt like some kind of impostor. Even though the changes I was making were for my health, I also felt like I was alienating some of my friends.
Your real friends, however, stay with you no matter what. They knew me well before and remain friends to this day. For many people, the difficulty lies in the transition.
This difficult period when going through a major lifestyle change is called a liminal space.
A liminal space is the in‑between. It’s when one thing has ended but the new thing hasn’t fully taken shape. It’s not just about time. It’s about identity. You’re no longer who you were, but you’re not yet who you’re becoming.
Liminal spaces are created in other areas of our lives as well, in our careers and even our relationships. When people break up or get divorced, difficult as it is, they know it wasn’t working and that it had to come to an end. But for a while after, they don’t know exactly who they are. They haven’t rebuilt their routines, their social life, or even how they see themselves. That person is in a liminal space. They’re untethered from what they knew, and not yet grounded in what’s next. It’s confusing and it can be uncomfortable. But it’s also where growth happens.
When it comes to our health, the decisions we make in pursuit of change can create friction in unexpected areas of our lives. It’s not just about going to a gym. It’s about becoming the kind of person who does, and for many people, that feels like a stretch. They can’t yet see themselves as someone who trains regularly, who turns down drinks to prioritize recovery, or cancels plans in favor of Jiu Jitsu or CrossFit class. That identity doesn’t feel like theirs yet.
And in that space between lives, people hesitate. Not because they don’t care, but because they don’t recognize themselves in the next version of who they could be. There’s no map for it. They feel disconnected from old habits but not yet confident in the new ones.
The truth is, most people never push through that space. They get stuck trying to make a change while still holding onto everything that made change impossible in the first place. But the people who do push through, the ones who show up even when they don’t feel like they belong yet, are the ones who find something profound on the other side.
That’s why the right gym matters. It’s about being surrounded by people who’ve made that leap before. People who remember what it felt like to not know where you fit. At Gym Force, we help people find those kinds of places. Independently owned gyms where the owner and coaches know what you’re going through and an empathetic community to help you along the way.
Eventually, the identity you didn’t think could ever be yours starts to feel natural. You string together a few weeks of showing up. You get a little stronger. You make a few better choices outside the gym and find yourself regularly hanging out with a new group of friends. And then one day, you realize you’re not trying to be that person anymore. You just are.
Liminal spaces are stressful and difficult. But they’re also transformative.
If you’re there now, stuck between the life you’ve outgrown and the one you haven’t fully stepped into yet, you’re not broken. You’re just in transition. You can’t get through it alone and it doesn’t happen overnight.
Just hang in there.
The reason so many find life changing results with Gym Force is because they offer much more than a place to work out. They also provide support in navigating the liminal space required for meaningful change.